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October 2005 - Chavvin' it Large in Sardinia
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As
roving ambassador for Bobtails rabbit and guinea pig rescue, I thought it
would be a bit of fun to play the part of a proper English chav during my
trip to the posh town of Porto Cervo on the Italian island of Sardinia. Before
I left, I mugged up on how to pass myself off as a chav from the “Chertsey
Massive” |
The
book said that Burberry (the more the better) was definitely the way forward.
So I bought a pair of shorts for the beach and started to get to grips with
learning the Italian lingo – the language
of lurve |
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After
catching some rays on the beach, I decided to indulge in my favourite hobby – laydee spotting (the Italian buns are a bit of
alright) and set sail aboard the good ship “Buck ‘n Doe” |
Back in Porto Cervo, I bought the ultimate chav accessory,
the Burberry baseball cap. I was now really starting to look the part and was
certainly getting a lot of attention! |
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In order to complete my transformation of dressing from
my nose to my bobtail in chav gear, I splashed out on a shirt. I really looked
the business and during the evening hung out with the other trendies in a bar
overlooking Porto Cervo harbour |
Laydee buns seemed to
want to take pictures of me (it must have been the outfit) so I posed for
some shots.
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It was like being a film
star.
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After all the excitement,
I hopped back to my hotel – the 3 star “il terracotta”.
It was basic, but comfortable. That night I decided that I would go shopping
in search of some bling in the morning.
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Having spent the last of
my Euros on some gold jewellery and a large hoopy earring (again the book
was my mentor), I posed for a photo in front of the town sign. Perhaps they
should rename it Porto “Chavo” in my honour?!
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Then, out of the blue,
I was being arrested by the polizia del moda (the Italian fashion police)
and put on the next flight home. The Italians clearly don’t understand
the sophistication of being a chav!
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Until
next time……… Ciao Mio
Amicos
Sir Parsley Button
(now a.k.a Sir Burberry Chav) |
