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Viva Las Vegas Sir Parsley Style - June 2005
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It
all started with a 10 hour flight from London Gatwick to Las Vegas. On board,
the in flight entertainment was great and I relaxed to some smooth grooves
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Then
came a request from the cockpit. The captain of Virgin Atlantic’s
747 jumbo jet had a headache and needed me to take the controls for the
rest of the flight. I entered the cockpit and just got on with it |
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After
such a tiring journey, I needed to recharge my batteries before hitting the
town. So I settled down for a quick nap in my hotel room. The bed was very
big and I was already thinking about all the lovely American laydees that
might like to share it with me
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After
forty winks, I set out on the prowl around Las Vegas for a nice laydee bunny.
I sat drinking in one of the cafés at the Bellagio hotel
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.....and
then toured some of the other hotels, including the Luxor pyramid |
Las
Vegas is full of bright lights and you can see me sitting by one of the
bun-sized signs |
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The
next day, I thought it would be fun to fly a helicopter over the Grand Canyon.
My pilot skills came into good use again, although I did find it quite difficult
to reach the pedals |
Once
there, I tried to find a nice comfy place to sit and relax, but there were
so many cacti around |
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After
flying the helicopter back, it was my turn to relax – this time in the back of a chauffeur driven limousine! Knowing
I was not going to be driving any more that day, I helped myself to a drink
from the on-board bar |
Day turned to night and I went out on the town once again. It was at this point that things
started to go a bit wrong……… |
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I
had a few too many beers at the Golden Nugget casino and apparently passed
out
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It
must have been sometime during this evening that I finally met a lovely American
laydee, although I can’t remember much about it. Unfortunately, I somehow
ended up agreeing to marry her, although I must admit the whole sorry episode
is a bit of a blur. Not having come to Las Vegas with the intention of getting
hitched, I didn’t of course have the right
attire with me, so I had to hire a morning suit for my big day at the Chapel of Bells |
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For
a while, it was the happiest day of my life………then
I must have sobered up and realised exactly what I had done! It was like a
bad dream. Goodness knows what would have happened if Sarah & William had
not been there to secure me an annulment (à la Britney – well
if it’s good enough for her, it’s good enough for me). Anyway,
to cut a long story short, after my brief moment of madness I was a free, single
and carefree bun once again. |
With all the money washing around in Las Vegas, I decided that I should
have a share of the action and try and win some dollars for Bobtails. So I tried
my paws at the one armed bandit fruit machines |
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Unfortunately,
I lost more than I won, so I hatched a plan with my ex-wife and my new drinking
pal “mini-bun” to rob the Bellagio casino of
all their money, just like in the film Oceans 11. Except this time, there were
only 3 of us – so we called ourselves “Oceans 3”!
We couldn’t even get past the security guard, let alone find the safe,
so we had to give up – but not before we snapped ourselves in front of
the Bellagio fountains. Everyone was staring at us and
we felt like proper film stars! |
After
a long day, I said goodbye to my newly found friends and relaxed for the
last few hours of my holiday on the throne in my hotel room. Unfortunately,
it was time to go home. But I’m sooooooo looking forward
to my next exciting adventure…………
Au revoir
Sir Parsley
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